TEST DRIVE MEME #1

[space_aces]

WHERE ANGELS FEAR TO TREAD

Your journey only happened because of your benefactor, so it begets that it starts at your benefactor as well. SUPERBIA, which is as much of a location as it is an entity, is where everyone's search for Fortuna begins.

There's not much of a welcome party: shortly after their fateful encounter with SUPERBIA, in which they swore to join the quest to find Fortuna, the new Privateers will find themselves afflicted by a sudden change in perspective. See, teleportation is a tricky process, so from SUPERBIA's point of view, why not make the target destination none other than itself? One highly disconcerting moment later, and the Privateers find themselves inside the belly of the beast.

The vast mega-structure is shockingly lonely, void of anyone other than the Privateers. Those who look off the metal satellite and to The Network for intelligence (or take a skim at the Space Wikipedia article) will find out that the surrounding space is clear for lightyears; rumors have it that the place is cursed. It won't take long to understand why.

1

Overclocked

The innards of SUPERBIA are that of an impossibly scaled up computer, and the Privateers start right in the middle of it. You are the spider living in the dusty PS4. Literal rivers of coolant, transistors the size of mountains, landscapes made entirely of circuitry. The sky, bounded by a distant metal ceiling, is constantly alight with coursing electricity that cracks the sky with lightning storms. It can be assumed that the Privateers are the first living things to set foot here, because such a place is not ever meant to be traversed by delicate, organic, mortals that worry about things such as "temperature" or "voltage". SUPERBIA needs not lifeforms to continue its operations; why design for them? Traversal itself is difficult: unscalable walls and perilous drops are common to encounter. The only company the Privateers will find are oddly adorable maintenance robots, which sadly seem too occupied by their directives of maintaining the massive machine to offer any assistance (or even acknowledgement of their new guests).

It is immediately clear that the most urgent priority is to get the hell out of here. Before your adventure ends at the starting line.

2

Skeletons In The Closet

If one stays inside SUPERBIA, either by getting horribly lost or losing all common sense, one will notice a peculiar pattern emerge as one gets deeper into the bowels of the mega-structure. Passages shrink and become more level, and the incredible hostility and danger of the surroundings fade away, until one comes across areas which were definitely intended for humanoid organisms to use at one point.

The construction of these areas is cramped, unfurnished, and dreary; they are reminiscent of artificial environments meant to handle harsh external conditions like a submarine or bunker, but they are entirely livable. One can eventually find distinct rooms, but everything in them has crumbled to dust and their original purpose is nigh impossible to discern. Deeper investigation may reveal the few items that have stood the test of time. While it is more plausible for life to have existed here, that doesn't seem to be the case now. What happened here?

3

The Shipyard

In the opposite direction, when one finally reaches the outer edges of SUPERBIA, they will be rewarded with the place to pick up a spaceship and a stunningly beautiful view of outer space. The outside of SUPERBIA has no atmosphere to get between you and the stars, and they shine brightly, like a beacon calling one out into the first steps of adventure.

The shipyard is already filled with countless space ships of every size, form, and function, all autonomously constructed by SUPERBIA's factories over the countless years. What's the harm in taking one or twenty out for a spin? Even if one has no intentions of permanent ownership of the vehicle, it's not like SUPERBIA will miss it. For a Privateer with a more specific vision, however, there are kiosks around the yard which will allow one to design their very own space ship down to their exact specifications. When the process is done SUPERBIA's matter printers will have it out and space-ready right before your very eyes.

If a Privateer has a ship, vehicle, or large item that they intended to bring with them, they will also find them here, neatly parked in the Shipyard. Why didn't SUPERBIA extend this courtesy to the pilot's themselves? The answer is revealed as soon as the owner makes a closer inspection: the inner contents have been rearranged, like a whirlwind was unleashed inside and assorted loose items thrown around. Now aren't you glad your transportation was given special attention, and the same didn't happen to your innards?

4

Hot Crewmates in Your Area

But how will a single Privateer man an entire space ship? No worries: when one steps into a ship, the strangely endearing maintenance robots will suddenly take acute interest. The robots will follow inside and immediately start assuming the duties of a spacefarer, eliminating the need for extra hands on deck.

Even still, there's just no eliminating the want for a human touch, though. Thankfully even that dilemma has a contingency plotted by SUPERBIA.

Communication devices are easily available on every space ship. They come in all shapes and sizes, ranging from huge stationary consoles to portable smartphone-like screens. But whenever a Privateer attempts to access the Network, a pop-up will appear, obscuring the whole screen.

Tell me a little about yourself. Are you a LEADER or a FOLLOWER? What is your best feature?
The device will be rendered unusable until one relents to the pop-up's demands and provides answers to its questions. What will these be used for? The mystery will be solved when a social media app mysteriously installs itself on the same device, with profiles preemptively made for every Privateer. Each Privateer's profile consists of their given answers, paired with embarrassingly candid photographs. SUPERBIA has eyes in many places it seems.

Comments

Overlord Zetta | Makai Kingdom

[badassfreakingoverlord]

I. Oddly adorable, huh?

Hey! HEY! HEY!!!!

[What's making all this noise? At first it seems to be one of those maintenance robots, if an oddly-shaped one... but after further appraisal, the noise is in fact coming from what it's carrying: a remarkably large red book, which appears to be.... quivering in righteous indignation?]

Put me down! I'm an Overlord, you idiot! I'm not baggage! I don't consent to this!

II. Super Battleship Yoshitsuna is here!

[With a commanding gaze, a book surveys the seemingly endless number of ships filling the yard -- and doesn't appear to be happy doing so. Its scowl is practically visible from anywhere within the semi-enclosed space.]

Too small. Too stupid-looking. Too small. Too red. Not red enough. Too wussy-looking. Definitely inadequate. Too small. Not phallic enough. Too small. Too square. Probably copyrighted.

[The litany of complaints goes on and on, until at last the Overlord groans, slumping in exhausted dismay. None of these ships seem satisfactory! None of them are worthy of an Overlord, or at least, not an Overlord as awesome as he is! And he could try to program one, sure, but how could even this shipyard keep up with his imagination?]

[Then it occurs to Zetta... just what, exactly, is he standing on? (Or rather, floating slightly above.) He cracks open one eye, to appraise what actually isn't a platform... what is instead a very long section of a very long ship...]

Hya... Hyaaaha ha ha ha ha! This is it! This is perfect!

III. Netherworld Recruiting Agency

Tell us a little bit about yourself: I'm Zetta, the most badass freaking Overlord in the entire cosmos! Serving under me is a privilege extended to few demons in existence, but this is your chance to get in on the ground floor with supreme power by becoming my loyal minion! I --

Are you a leader or a follower? -- hey! I wasn't done talking yet! How dare you interrup--

What is your best feature? --iece of junk! I'll rip you apart! I--

1

[hattersgonnahat]

[What was going on other there? The robots had been pretty silent thus far so it couldn't be one of them. Or maybe it was?? A closer investigation towards the noise might be in order.]

[...It does appear to be one of robots. That's weird. Although it also seemed to be carrying a red book. Not so sure where it found that.]

Uhm...

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Hey! Hey! Stop 'um'ing and kick this robot's ass!

[The book is also inclined to give orders! Even if it can't tell who that is. It doesn't matter!]

[hattersgonnahat]

[Unfortunately for the book, said kid doesn't normally like following orders that much. And she was maybe a bit curious about where the robot was planning to take it anyway. So she walked beside it instead, at a somewhat leisurely pace.]

You really can't get out on your own? [It didn't even look like it was holding the book that tightly...]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

You may not have noticed, but I'm a freaking BOOK at the moment. I'm a bit short on things like limbs!

[Although his aggressive thrashing is pretty vigorous, you gotta give him that!]

[hattersgonnahat]

Yes but a book doesn't move or talk either! [So, you know...]

[What would a big ol' computer want with some old smelly book anyway? ...Probably not much. For all she knew the robot was going to throw it into an incinerator or something.]

[Fine, maybe she had toyed around for long enough. She sighed and gave the bot a very simple, light bop with an umbrella. Despite not being that forceful the bot immediately halted and released the book. Less destruction and more like hitting a restart button to deactivate it for a few seconds.]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Most books don't have a demon's soul bound to it. [With a grunt, the Sacred Tome rises into the air, then straightens out so Zetta can properly glare at any and all things and people around him.] Where the hell is this?

Oddly Adorable

[somuchshipping]

[It may come as a surprise to Zetta that he's being carried away like a piece of property. Just like it may come as a surprise that a quadrupedal robot seems to blaze INTO the robot, causing himself to trip. Hermes's [Kleptomania] kicks in and he expertly grabs the red book as he's tumbling and shoves it in his inventory.

When Hermes recovers and gets up, he looks over to the helper robot, giving it a few pats.]

OhGosh, I'mSorryLittleAI.

[With that out of the way, Hermes bolts it again and around the corner, out of view from the other bot. It's only then Hermes takes the red book out and sets it on the floor, backing away a little and curious to see what it does.]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

[Said book... promptly springs up into the air, the face on it glowering at the withering mistreatment all around.]

Points for the rescue, but marks off for apologizing to the robot instead of kicking its ass. Not a great start to your minioning career but it'll do.

[somuchshipping]

Minioning... what? I just made it look like a simple accident. What are you anyway? Never seen an alien like you.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"Hyaaaha ha ha ha ha! I'm Zetta -- the most badass freaking Overlord in the entire cosmos! Consider yourself lucky that you stumbled onto me, instead of some other worthless fool!"

The book has... a very large ego.

[somuchshipping]

[Well... this does give at least some clue to the hierarchy of... sentient books. Hermes thinks. Hermes is aware cultures can vary from species to species, such as how Soothals have a class-based system based on the shape of their heads, Gondii being parasites that mind-control organisms that aren't sentient, or how millions of Datos form a colony the size of a common beach ball.

It would be best to clarify this 100%. Just in case.]

Just so we're clear, do you mean "overlord" as in "A ruler of great power"? Or is there another definition your species uses?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

An Overlord is a ruler of a Netherworld. You know, the demon realm of a universe, source of all evil, that sort of thing? [So technically the first definition is also correct!]

[somuchshipping]

[Demon! So all sentient books are demons. Got it. Hermes makes a playful face.]

Got it. Just wanted to be clear. You know how different some alien species are! Anyways! I'm a first-generation Hermes unit from the computer game called Fortuna. Call me Hermes. It's easier. I'veNeverMet AnEvilDemonBookBefore! What'sItLikeIn TheRealWorld? CanYouShowMeSomeOf YourBadassOverlordFeats?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

[Argh! Text parser breakdown! Spaces being deleted! Zetta squinches his eyes shut against the onslaught!]

Sure, but I need to find a loose item of some sort. Clearly I need to update my minion roster, and for that I need something to bind ambient souls too.

II

[sisterspider]

And she'd thought the Warden was megalomaniacal and full of himself...

The fact that it was a book doing the laughing made Nia question her sanity for a moment. She'd been a lot of places, seen a lot--done a lot of things, but this was high on the list of her unique experiences.

"This isn't 'too big' or 'too phallic'?" It was big, that was for sure. It also made her miss the Rixen Freckle's sleek elegance--and its crew, as well.

It didn't look stupid, at least, so whatever this weird ship was, it had that going for it. Or so Nia guessed.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Uh. That gets the girl a baffled look. "How could something be too big or too phallic?"

Yeah, it's like that.

I

[transcutation]

[The maintenance bot's egress is put to a stop a tiny foot placed on top of it, causing it to squirm helplessly. Dainty hands pluck the oversized grimoire out of its grasp with the practiced ease of someone used to handling overly large bound tomes.]

You know, I prefer my tomes to be a bit less mouthy, but I suppose you take what you can get here.

[And with that much preamble, she attempts to open him, not even bothering to look him in the cover.]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

[Slight problem: the information in the tome is written in an utterly inscrutable demon language!]

[Slightly less slight problem: angry tome!] Hey! Stop reading the Overlord! I don't open you up and try to read what's inside you, do I!?

[transcutation]

[...yup, not any language that she's familiar with. She slaps him closed and turns him over so she can see what he looks like angry]

That's because Cagliostro is a cute and adorable girl and people who try to do that to cute girls are criminals!

[How literally you interpreted that was up to him, but at least in most cultures she knew of, human sacrifice for viscera-based scrying was frowned upon.]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

You're not fooling me with that line, I know Pram the Oracle! [Who is allegedly a cute and adorable girl and also the worst. In fact, isn't it pretty much required that supposedly cute and adorable girls are either the absolutest of cinnamon rollest, or the worst?] Besides, I'm not just any criminal. I'm an Overlord! Acts of evil are my bread and butter!

But since you did technically perform some competent minioning by getting me free of that damn robot, I'll spare you the fate. What Netherworld is this?

[transcutation]

[Why whatever would make you think she isn't the absolutest of cinnamon rollest?]

An Overlord! Oh, whatever will Cagliostro do! [Cue her pretending to be shocked and oh so frightened of him. But it seems she'll be spared having to show him who's boss around here any more criminal acts, so she'll answer his questions]

Well, I don't think this is any Netherworld? In fact, I'm told it's a giant machine called Superbia that's in outer space?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

[Easy: The absolutest of cinnamon rolls don't refer to themselves in the third person. Zetta knows how these things work.]

...Honestly, that sounds exactly like the pretentious crap some spinoff would lob our way, but I guess it could not be a Netherworld too. Once it starts getting this ridiculous, I stop caring, except how to get out of here and fix this whole mess!

[transcutation]

Well, you're in luck then! It seems like travel is on the menu here! [Though honestly, why does this book have so many complaints?] Did Mr. Book not sign up to be an explorer then?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

I signed up to be a freaking Overlord! I'm only a book because someone tampered with the Sacred Tome, and I had to bind my soul to it to survive!

[He's skipping over a lot of details here, but he IS bound to the book. No question there.] Also the name's Zetta. Overlord Zetta! If you'd heard of it, you'd know how impressive it is to be standing in my presence!