TEST DRIVE MEME #1

[space_aces]

WHERE ANGELS FEAR TO TREAD

Your journey only happened because of your benefactor, so it begets that it starts at your benefactor as well. SUPERBIA, which is as much of a location as it is an entity, is where everyone's search for Fortuna begins.

There's not much of a welcome party: shortly after their fateful encounter with SUPERBIA, in which they swore to join the quest to find Fortuna, the new Privateers will find themselves afflicted by a sudden change in perspective. See, teleportation is a tricky process, so from SUPERBIA's point of view, why not make the target destination none other than itself? One highly disconcerting moment later, and the Privateers find themselves inside the belly of the beast.

The vast mega-structure is shockingly lonely, void of anyone other than the Privateers. Those who look off the metal satellite and to The Network for intelligence (or take a skim at the Space Wikipedia article) will find out that the surrounding space is clear for lightyears; rumors have it that the place is cursed. It won't take long to understand why.

1

Overclocked

The innards of SUPERBIA are that of an impossibly scaled up computer, and the Privateers start right in the middle of it. You are the spider living in the dusty PS4. Literal rivers of coolant, transistors the size of mountains, landscapes made entirely of circuitry. The sky, bounded by a distant metal ceiling, is constantly alight with coursing electricity that cracks the sky with lightning storms. It can be assumed that the Privateers are the first living things to set foot here, because such a place is not ever meant to be traversed by delicate, organic, mortals that worry about things such as "temperature" or "voltage". SUPERBIA needs not lifeforms to continue its operations; why design for them? Traversal itself is difficult: unscalable walls and perilous drops are common to encounter. The only company the Privateers will find are oddly adorable maintenance robots, which sadly seem too occupied by their directives of maintaining the massive machine to offer any assistance (or even acknowledgement of their new guests).

It is immediately clear that the most urgent priority is to get the hell out of here. Before your adventure ends at the starting line.

2

Skeletons In The Closet

If one stays inside SUPERBIA, either by getting horribly lost or losing all common sense, one will notice a peculiar pattern emerge as one gets deeper into the bowels of the mega-structure. Passages shrink and become more level, and the incredible hostility and danger of the surroundings fade away, until one comes across areas which were definitely intended for humanoid organisms to use at one point.

The construction of these areas is cramped, unfurnished, and dreary; they are reminiscent of artificial environments meant to handle harsh external conditions like a submarine or bunker, but they are entirely livable. One can eventually find distinct rooms, but everything in them has crumbled to dust and their original purpose is nigh impossible to discern. Deeper investigation may reveal the few items that have stood the test of time. While it is more plausible for life to have existed here, that doesn't seem to be the case now. What happened here?

3

The Shipyard

In the opposite direction, when one finally reaches the outer edges of SUPERBIA, they will be rewarded with the place to pick up a spaceship and a stunningly beautiful view of outer space. The outside of SUPERBIA has no atmosphere to get between you and the stars, and they shine brightly, like a beacon calling one out into the first steps of adventure.

The shipyard is already filled with countless space ships of every size, form, and function, all autonomously constructed by SUPERBIA's factories over the countless years. What's the harm in taking one or twenty out for a spin? Even if one has no intentions of permanent ownership of the vehicle, it's not like SUPERBIA will miss it. For a Privateer with a more specific vision, however, there are kiosks around the yard which will allow one to design their very own space ship down to their exact specifications. When the process is done SUPERBIA's matter printers will have it out and space-ready right before your very eyes.

If a Privateer has a ship, vehicle, or large item that they intended to bring with them, they will also find them here, neatly parked in the Shipyard. Why didn't SUPERBIA extend this courtesy to the pilot's themselves? The answer is revealed as soon as the owner makes a closer inspection: the inner contents have been rearranged, like a whirlwind was unleashed inside and assorted loose items thrown around. Now aren't you glad your transportation was given special attention, and the same didn't happen to your innards?

4

Hot Crewmates in Your Area

But how will a single Privateer man an entire space ship? No worries: when one steps into a ship, the strangely endearing maintenance robots will suddenly take acute interest. The robots will follow inside and immediately start assuming the duties of a spacefarer, eliminating the need for extra hands on deck.

Even still, there's just no eliminating the want for a human touch, though. Thankfully even that dilemma has a contingency plotted by SUPERBIA.

Communication devices are easily available on every space ship. They come in all shapes and sizes, ranging from huge stationary consoles to portable smartphone-like screens. But whenever a Privateer attempts to access the Network, a pop-up will appear, obscuring the whole screen.

Tell me a little about yourself. Are you a LEADER or a FOLLOWER? What is your best feature?
The device will be rendered unusable until one relents to the pop-up's demands and provides answers to its questions. What will these be used for? The mystery will be solved when a social media app mysteriously installs itself on the same device, with profiles preemptively made for every Privateer. Each Privateer's profile consists of their given answers, paired with embarrassingly candid photographs. SUPERBIA has eyes in many places it seems.

Comments

[braidedwonder]

Second?

That sounds fake.

[sleepfan]

Fair enough: I wouldn't believe Ferdinand's hair unless I saw it so often.

[One of the wonders of the world has to be how his comrade's hair always looks that good. Linhardt ponders it on occasion when he's tuning out whatever Ferdinand is saying.]

His is just a bit curlier than yours and almost bright copper colored. Your hair style is better, though.

[braidedwonder]

My hair waves a bit if I leave it to dry on it’s own. But there’s so much of it I imagine it’s weighed down by itself too…

I dunno. I’ve never had short enough hair to know what the hell it looks like that way, either.

[sleepfan]

That is why I sometimes wonder if Ferdinand is using magic on his hair. He does have heavy hair, and he wears it down, and yet he still manages curls and waves.

I've never worn my hair short either. Your hair looks good long. You clearly take good care of it.

[braidedwonder]

OK but just how long are we talking? Like length, obviously.

Thanks. I'm never cutting it, so I have no choice but to take care of it and, y'know. Make it work.

[sleepfan]

His hair is about as long as yours. To the waist.

That requires a great deal of care indeed. I wonder what the effect of space is on hair? Should I be doing anything differently?

[Linhardt is low-key fairly vain.]

[braidedwonder]

I know people with longer hair than mine and I don't get how they don't get it all ratty leaving it long down their back, but here we are.

As a born spacer.. there's not really anything different to do other than get used to not washing it often because of possibly rationing water. But that's over all healthier for your hair.

Oh, and less gravity is nice on your roots.

[sleepfan]

I think it's some sort of charisma witchcraft.

[Surely Ferdinand's glorious hair in defiance of all reason is tied to his ability to get people to follow him to certain doom, yes?]

SUPERBIA did not explain that part. I quit. I will risk asphyxiating alone in space, but I won't die with greasy roots.

[The feeling is so unpleasant.]

[braidedwonder]

Charisma witchcraft?

So he's a smooth talker.

To be fair, I doubt anyone is gonna notice your roots on your frozen and/or exploded corpse.

[sleepfan]

He is.

Asphyxiation takes less than 10 minutes, but I'd have to put up with greasy roots for days. It's a completely different scenario.

[braidedwonder]

As someone who has had asphyxiation attempted on them :
You don't give a flying fuck about your roots when you're rationing oxygen.

[sleepfan]

Someone cut your supplies on purpose?

[braidedwonder]

Yeah. Long story attached but definitely ranks up there for least pleasant things to experience.

[sleepfan]

Hopefully it's one that the rest of us don't have to experience.

None of my near-death experiences recommend themselves, so I will trust you on that one and pencil it in as not recommended.

[braidedwonder]

With any luck at all, yes.

Especially don't do it while in jail on a moon base.

[sleepfan]

Would it be better to asphyxiate when you weren't imprisoned?

[Hopefully, Linhardt doesn't end up in jail, but he makes no promises.]

[braidedwonder]

By some small percentage yes, I think.

[sleepfan]

Why do you think we had to answer questions to access the communication network?

Is that an ordinary requirement?

[braidedwonder]

Probably so that people lookin' to build crews could find people that they thought would be useful.

Or it's for SUPERBIA's database in some function.

[sleepfan]

That makes sense.

Good luck to you. I appreciate the indulgence of my mental wanderings.

[braidedwonder]

I think I'd have to say good luck to the rest of you, really.

But we'll see what happens, right?

[sleepfan]

That is entirely possible. My own odds do appear rather abysmal.

[But appearances can be deceiving.]

Are you so confident because of your spacefaring experience? What will you do if you find Fortuna? I would like to not be in range if it's something destructive.

[braidedwonder]

Who knows what you might be able to pull out. I guess I'm kind of a prime example that you shouldn't underestimate the under dog.

I have friends, here. We're all spacers.

And we have three gundams.

When it comes to Fortuna.... we're on a split vote, between the four of us, on that front.

[sleepfan]

That's quite kind of you to say. I must have some chance as otherwise it would not be worth the energy to extend the offer.

[Linhardt knows well what his advantages are. What he doesn't know very well is the lay of the...well, not 'land' exactly. The lay of the space.]

It is quite an advantage to have other spacefarers working with you already.

Hopefully you do not find Fortuna before you come to an agreement, or that will be a problem of its own. I suppose that is a benefit to being the only one here from my world.

[Or so Linhardt assumes. Who else from Fodlan would go for this? It was insanity.]

Does the one of you without a mobile suit have a larger ship?

[Four of them, but only three gundams.]

[braidedwonder]

We've been through a war together - this little treasure hunt won't be anything stressful.

Then I guess Wufei will have to fight me and Quatre will probably try to mediate. If Yuy doesn't gut punch me into a nap, first.

No, but we'll just confiscate one that doesn't have a crew. One of our friends is apparently from further along the timeline and his Gundam is a heap of parts instead of a useable mobile suit.