TEST DRIVE MEME #1

[space_aces]

WHERE ANGELS FEAR TO TREAD

Your journey only happened because of your benefactor, so it begets that it starts at your benefactor as well. SUPERBIA, which is as much of a location as it is an entity, is where everyone's search for Fortuna begins.

There's not much of a welcome party: shortly after their fateful encounter with SUPERBIA, in which they swore to join the quest to find Fortuna, the new Privateers will find themselves afflicted by a sudden change in perspective. See, teleportation is a tricky process, so from SUPERBIA's point of view, why not make the target destination none other than itself? One highly disconcerting moment later, and the Privateers find themselves inside the belly of the beast.

The vast mega-structure is shockingly lonely, void of anyone other than the Privateers. Those who look off the metal satellite and to The Network for intelligence (or take a skim at the Space Wikipedia article) will find out that the surrounding space is clear for lightyears; rumors have it that the place is cursed. It won't take long to understand why.

1

Overclocked

The innards of SUPERBIA are that of an impossibly scaled up computer, and the Privateers start right in the middle of it. You are the spider living in the dusty PS4. Literal rivers of coolant, transistors the size of mountains, landscapes made entirely of circuitry. The sky, bounded by a distant metal ceiling, is constantly alight with coursing electricity that cracks the sky with lightning storms. It can be assumed that the Privateers are the first living things to set foot here, because such a place is not ever meant to be traversed by delicate, organic, mortals that worry about things such as "temperature" or "voltage". SUPERBIA needs not lifeforms to continue its operations; why design for them? Traversal itself is difficult: unscalable walls and perilous drops are common to encounter. The only company the Privateers will find are oddly adorable maintenance robots, which sadly seem too occupied by their directives of maintaining the massive machine to offer any assistance (or even acknowledgement of their new guests).

It is immediately clear that the most urgent priority is to get the hell out of here. Before your adventure ends at the starting line.

2

Skeletons In The Closet

If one stays inside SUPERBIA, either by getting horribly lost or losing all common sense, one will notice a peculiar pattern emerge as one gets deeper into the bowels of the mega-structure. Passages shrink and become more level, and the incredible hostility and danger of the surroundings fade away, until one comes across areas which were definitely intended for humanoid organisms to use at one point.

The construction of these areas is cramped, unfurnished, and dreary; they are reminiscent of artificial environments meant to handle harsh external conditions like a submarine or bunker, but they are entirely livable. One can eventually find distinct rooms, but everything in them has crumbled to dust and their original purpose is nigh impossible to discern. Deeper investigation may reveal the few items that have stood the test of time. While it is more plausible for life to have existed here, that doesn't seem to be the case now. What happened here?

3

The Shipyard

In the opposite direction, when one finally reaches the outer edges of SUPERBIA, they will be rewarded with the place to pick up a spaceship and a stunningly beautiful view of outer space. The outside of SUPERBIA has no atmosphere to get between you and the stars, and they shine brightly, like a beacon calling one out into the first steps of adventure.

The shipyard is already filled with countless space ships of every size, form, and function, all autonomously constructed by SUPERBIA's factories over the countless years. What's the harm in taking one or twenty out for a spin? Even if one has no intentions of permanent ownership of the vehicle, it's not like SUPERBIA will miss it. For a Privateer with a more specific vision, however, there are kiosks around the yard which will allow one to design their very own space ship down to their exact specifications. When the process is done SUPERBIA's matter printers will have it out and space-ready right before your very eyes.

If a Privateer has a ship, vehicle, or large item that they intended to bring with them, they will also find them here, neatly parked in the Shipyard. Why didn't SUPERBIA extend this courtesy to the pilot's themselves? The answer is revealed as soon as the owner makes a closer inspection: the inner contents have been rearranged, like a whirlwind was unleashed inside and assorted loose items thrown around. Now aren't you glad your transportation was given special attention, and the same didn't happen to your innards?

4

Hot Crewmates in Your Area

But how will a single Privateer man an entire space ship? No worries: when one steps into a ship, the strangely endearing maintenance robots will suddenly take acute interest. The robots will follow inside and immediately start assuming the duties of a spacefarer, eliminating the need for extra hands on deck.

Even still, there's just no eliminating the want for a human touch, though. Thankfully even that dilemma has a contingency plotted by SUPERBIA.

Communication devices are easily available on every space ship. They come in all shapes and sizes, ranging from huge stationary consoles to portable smartphone-like screens. But whenever a Privateer attempts to access the Network, a pop-up will appear, obscuring the whole screen.

Tell me a little about yourself. Are you a LEADER or a FOLLOWER? What is your best feature?
The device will be rendered unusable until one relents to the pop-up's demands and provides answers to its questions. What will these be used for? The mystery will be solved when a social media app mysteriously installs itself on the same device, with profiles preemptively made for every Privateer. Each Privateer's profile consists of their given answers, paired with embarrassingly candid photographs. SUPERBIA has eyes in many places it seems.

Comments

[somuchshipping]

Hermes looked over to the robot he was holding, silent, waiting for it to talk., but the robot didn't offer any sort of vocalizations besides a couple buzzes and beeps. After a few moments, Hermes frowns.

"I guess the unit's got [mute]." Hermes blinks and it takes another small moment for him to remember he's in the real world. "I mean it might be mute, besides the beeps and boops. Too bad there aren't any Aftiks around to translate..."

[funnylittleclown]

"Yes, no vocal synthesizer."

Which was a shame but did not nessacary mean the little bot couldn't still be of some use to them.

"Maybe you could lead the way? I'm sure you must know your own ship better than we do."

Either this plan would be brilliant or it would get them even more lost than they were to begin with.

[somuchshipping]

Hermes is not lost. He's exactly where he needs to be: Helping other people. Nonetheless, at this line of inquiry, Hermes set the robot down on the floor, letting it roam free. And while not the fastest robot nor the slowest, it seemed to move at a comfortable pace. Hermes begins following it.

...Yeah, this is gonna get real boring real quick, so Hermes decides to pick up some conversation.

"So you're a human, huh? Or... maskless Notail?"

[funnylittleclown]

"Whatever is a maskless Notail?"

Well, clearly he wasn't that or he wouldn't need to ask. Nor was he particularly human but having such a fondness for them... why destroy the illusion?

"Near enough to one. I'm the Doctor. And you are? I can't say I've seen a species quite like yours before."

[somuchshipping]

Hermes neglects to answer the first question directly when it's asked as he has a much better explanation as to what exactly he is. With a smile, Hermes begins, "I'm Hermes! Or to be more specific, Hermes v1. I come from a computer game. It's a roguelike space sim where nearly everything is user-generated. Planets, individual people, alien species, and more! NotAIs LikeMeThough."

As the two walk, Hermes offers one of his hand/foot/claws for a handshake, and continues speaking. "It's usually my job to give the tutorial to any new players. I also quicksave and help out Mors and Hades in the Underworld.

[funnylittleclown]

The hand/foot/claw was given a puzzling look before it dawned, ah yes, a handshake! This being a friendly gesture the Doctor clasped the offered appendage with his own and gave it a hearty shake.

"You're from a computer game! How remarkable. You know I've never been inside a computer game before. I imagine it must be a lot like those few areas we were in when we first arrived."

[somuchshipping]

If the doctor can ignore the heat of the steel because of how warm this place is, Hermes will return with his own heartiness in the handshake.

"I've been in many space stations and spaceships before, and many planets, too. This is actually my first time in the real world. The devs coded me. Well, not me-me, specifically, ButTheGeneral BaselineForMe! IActuallyHaveNoIdea HowPopularFortunaIs AndBeforeYouAsk FortunaIsTheTitle OfTheComputer GameI'mFrom." Hermes does speak very quickly and is unaware that others may have trouble keeping up with him.

[funnylittleclown]

Ignore wasn't quite the right word for it. Tolerate it for the brief period required of a handshake and wave your hand about in the air afterwards to cool it back off was a better description. It was surprisingly warm in here, wasn't it? Thankfully Hermes hadn't heated up to the fizzle an egg in his palm stage.

"Oh I see," Mostly. Some of that was made of of terms and mushed together words, "Have you ever seen a space craft as large as this one?"

[somuchshipping]

Yeah, that would be very bad and Hermes would likely intentionally avoid any and all physical contact until he cooled down. Luckily, the temperature doesn't seem to be getting too hot for that to happen.

"No, not at all. And I've been on a Grim Reaper before. That's what they call the larger Thanatos ships. This place must be able to house millions of people, not just thousands..."

[funnylittleclown]

"If people was what it was designed to carry. So far the habitable portion of the ship seems to be more of an afterthought."

This could have been a trick of perception of course as the other spaces had felt so vast in comparison to these much smaller winding hallways. Speaking of... the little robot suddenly took a hard left then a quick right before stopping in the middle of a sizable space. There were several large consoles built into the wall of SUPERBIA itself.

"Hello... I think we've found something."

[somuchshipping]

Hermes, in general, wasn't being particularly observant if one were to pay attention to him. Sure, he was looking around, but it seemed like a mere afterthought to him, based on body language. Once the Doctor points out the consoles, Hermes makes a bolt to them, stopping in front of them and examining them without touching them.

"Nnnnnot what I would expect, this layout of controls. Isn't it better to try and have everything centralized so the navigator can control the ship?"

[funnylittleclown]

"Maybe they aren't navigational controls."

The Doctor took up a place near the other console, looking it over and trying to decipher any of the labels the thing was peppered with. No luck there however as it turned out to be a language of marks and symbols he hadn't yet come across.

"Have you found anything resembling an 'on' switch?"

[somuchshipping]

"Uuuuuuh..."Hermes began, flitting his vision over from button to button until his eyes landed on one that looked like a switch. "This one? Maybe? ButForAllWeKnow ItCouldTrigger ASelfDestruct AndThenWe'dAllDie!"

[funnylittleclown]

"Self destruct? I'd hardly think so! All of this is part of SUPERBIA. I don't think it would allowed itself to be destroyed. At least not until we've found this treasure."

With that in mind he wiggled his fingers and pressed a button on the console that looked particularly well-worn.

[somuchshipping]

The machine makes a low beep and the as-of-now undecipherable display nearby changes its text. Hermes tinks the display a couple times with one of his claws/fingers/toes as if that would somehow accomplish something. As expected. it did not change.

"Laaaame. It seems like even if we get results, we can't translate this. Not without an Aftik." Hey, there's that one alien species Hermes mentioned earlier again. Hermes looks to the Doctor. "Maybe we can ask SUPERBIA to try and bring in Cobalt? She's one of the player characters from the game I'm from. IfSheGets BoughtHere, Don'tTellHerShe's FromAComputerGame TrustMeItWill EndVeryVeryBadly."

[funnylittleclown]

"Your friend Cobalt would have to wish to be here wouldn't she?"

That was how it had gone with him. Going about everyday business, about to be forcibly transformed into some one else all due to a stupid kangaroo court trial ruling... and then he had heard this voice telling him of this wonderful adventure. The Doctor couldn't refuse!

"I do like your idea about asking SUPERBIA. I know you are from a computer game but... would you have the ability to save all these files? We might be able to ask about these if we could take them with us."

[somuchshipping]

"She's actually Mors's friend. I worked with Cobalt for a run, but she's an Aftik," Hermes corrected. [Cosmic Friends Forever] really is a trait Hermes doesn't really need, but it's understandable why Mors went around selling the ability to gain the trait. Hermes is already friends with Mors.

Saving... real-world files...? Hermes never really thought of that before. He stared at the machines. Has... has he actually been saving this space station/spaceship since the very start when he got here? He can't exactly turn this ability off... And if he's been saving all this time, would the player's game of Fortuna corrupt?

...

Hermes really shouldn't be thinking of the game. He wanted to escape it for a reason. Saving these machines... Hermes will go ahead and quickly press a palm against each and every single one of the machines and waits a few moments, expression uncertain.

"...I have no idea if it worked our not."

[funnylittleclown]

"Aftik?"

He floated closer, watching his new friend there just in case there were any side effects of ingesting that much information. Hermes seemed to be fine however. Now whether or not the files had actually been saved... hmm, it didn't seem like they would be able to discover the answer to that here.

"I think we should make our way to this hanger bay. Um... do you know the way?"

Either the tiny robot or Hermes was free to take point on this. The Doctor was well and truly lost! He would have found his way out eventually but it would be easier with a guide.

[somuchshipping]

"Yeah, Aftiks. They're good crewmates to help out with diplomacy since it's incredibly easy for them to pick up on new languages because of [Auto-Translator]," Hermes explains. Hermes would definitely attempt to get that trait. Unfortunately, it's an Aftik-only trait.

The robot makes some roboty noises and will lead the two in the general direction of heading to the outside whilst Hermes continues the conversation. "It takes too long to learn other languages naturally, so they can be very sought-out."

[funnylittleclown]

"Oh, they know a lot of languages. That is handy."

With their being so many languages in the universe and all.

"I'm usually fairly good with languages myself but I'm afraid I've never run across this one. It's almost as if it needs a cipher."

The Doctor followed along behind the helpful little bot, this time attempting to make a mental map of the pathways they took so getting lost would not be a problem again.

[somuchshipping]

"Good for you. Helpful to be multilingual WhichIAmNot so having you around could help a lot."

Ciphers... puzzles... Hermes usually gets bored when faced with them. Hermes manages to roll his eyes despite the limited detail. "I'm not much of a puzzler. I prefer action! Drama! And romance!"

[funnylittleclown]

"Romance?"

Who would have suspected that! Not a side-scroller obviously!

"What sort of game did you come from?"

[somuchshipping]

"Okay, I know I started doing it ironically since Cupid was doing it, but then it became a real thing I enjoy. Just shipping people together is actually really fun, but unlike Cupid, I try to put more thought into things while Cupid just ships everything with everything. Romance!" Hopefully, that explanation will suffice about the romance part. "I've also got some good OTPs for myself."

Hermes blinks and frowns a little as he realized he never said what kind of game he's from. This is important information! Tutorial guy is slacking on the giving of tutorials, but Hermes will fix this. "Oh, it's a roguelike space sim. You hop from planet to planet, having super fun adventures along the way until you reach the planet Fortuna to have your player characters get treasure out of the chest there! Sounds familiar, doesn't it?"

[funnylittleclown]

"It is nice seeing young people coming together. I'm not sure how well trying to set two people up would go however. It can be surprising how differently couples can be from each other. I'd be afraid of bungling the entire thing!"

While not a shipper himself there was a charming aspect to romance but gaming... this was more his speed really. The Doctor loved a good game!

"It sounds very familiar! No wonder SUPERBIA approached you, you were practically designed for this! In this space sim did your players ever have the chance to open the treasure chest to see what was inside?"

[somuchshipping]

"That's understandable," Hermes began. "It's very sad if your OTP gets sunk like it's nothing. But that's why you have to keep in mind to have more than one ship for a single person. But like I said, don't ship everyone with everyone. You're bound to run into some real bad NoTPs that way."

Heh. That's amusing, the thought of him controlling the player characters. "I don't control any of the player's characters, but I have worked with the player's characters in their crew multiple times. Twice with the second player."

What Hermes refuses to reveal is how that second time ended up for him.