TEST DRIVE MEME #1

[space_aces]

WHERE ANGELS FEAR TO TREAD

Your journey only happened because of your benefactor, so it begets that it starts at your benefactor as well. SUPERBIA, which is as much of a location as it is an entity, is where everyone's search for Fortuna begins.

There's not much of a welcome party: shortly after their fateful encounter with SUPERBIA, in which they swore to join the quest to find Fortuna, the new Privateers will find themselves afflicted by a sudden change in perspective. See, teleportation is a tricky process, so from SUPERBIA's point of view, why not make the target destination none other than itself? One highly disconcerting moment later, and the Privateers find themselves inside the belly of the beast.

The vast mega-structure is shockingly lonely, void of anyone other than the Privateers. Those who look off the metal satellite and to The Network for intelligence (or take a skim at the Space Wikipedia article) will find out that the surrounding space is clear for lightyears; rumors have it that the place is cursed. It won't take long to understand why.

1

Overclocked

The innards of SUPERBIA are that of an impossibly scaled up computer, and the Privateers start right in the middle of it. You are the spider living in the dusty PS4. Literal rivers of coolant, transistors the size of mountains, landscapes made entirely of circuitry. The sky, bounded by a distant metal ceiling, is constantly alight with coursing electricity that cracks the sky with lightning storms. It can be assumed that the Privateers are the first living things to set foot here, because such a place is not ever meant to be traversed by delicate, organic, mortals that worry about things such as "temperature" or "voltage". SUPERBIA needs not lifeforms to continue its operations; why design for them? Traversal itself is difficult: unscalable walls and perilous drops are common to encounter. The only company the Privateers will find are oddly adorable maintenance robots, which sadly seem too occupied by their directives of maintaining the massive machine to offer any assistance (or even acknowledgement of their new guests).

It is immediately clear that the most urgent priority is to get the hell out of here. Before your adventure ends at the starting line.

2

Skeletons In The Closet

If one stays inside SUPERBIA, either by getting horribly lost or losing all common sense, one will notice a peculiar pattern emerge as one gets deeper into the bowels of the mega-structure. Passages shrink and become more level, and the incredible hostility and danger of the surroundings fade away, until one comes across areas which were definitely intended for humanoid organisms to use at one point.

The construction of these areas is cramped, unfurnished, and dreary; they are reminiscent of artificial environments meant to handle harsh external conditions like a submarine or bunker, but they are entirely livable. One can eventually find distinct rooms, but everything in them has crumbled to dust and their original purpose is nigh impossible to discern. Deeper investigation may reveal the few items that have stood the test of time. While it is more plausible for life to have existed here, that doesn't seem to be the case now. What happened here?

3

The Shipyard

In the opposite direction, when one finally reaches the outer edges of SUPERBIA, they will be rewarded with the place to pick up a spaceship and a stunningly beautiful view of outer space. The outside of SUPERBIA has no atmosphere to get between you and the stars, and they shine brightly, like a beacon calling one out into the first steps of adventure.

The shipyard is already filled with countless space ships of every size, form, and function, all autonomously constructed by SUPERBIA's factories over the countless years. What's the harm in taking one or twenty out for a spin? Even if one has no intentions of permanent ownership of the vehicle, it's not like SUPERBIA will miss it. For a Privateer with a more specific vision, however, there are kiosks around the yard which will allow one to design their very own space ship down to their exact specifications. When the process is done SUPERBIA's matter printers will have it out and space-ready right before your very eyes.

If a Privateer has a ship, vehicle, or large item that they intended to bring with them, they will also find them here, neatly parked in the Shipyard. Why didn't SUPERBIA extend this courtesy to the pilot's themselves? The answer is revealed as soon as the owner makes a closer inspection: the inner contents have been rearranged, like a whirlwind was unleashed inside and assorted loose items thrown around. Now aren't you glad your transportation was given special attention, and the same didn't happen to your innards?

4

Hot Crewmates in Your Area

But how will a single Privateer man an entire space ship? No worries: when one steps into a ship, the strangely endearing maintenance robots will suddenly take acute interest. The robots will follow inside and immediately start assuming the duties of a spacefarer, eliminating the need for extra hands on deck.

Even still, there's just no eliminating the want for a human touch, though. Thankfully even that dilemma has a contingency plotted by SUPERBIA.

Communication devices are easily available on every space ship. They come in all shapes and sizes, ranging from huge stationary consoles to portable smartphone-like screens. But whenever a Privateer attempts to access the Network, a pop-up will appear, obscuring the whole screen.

Tell me a little about yourself. Are you a LEADER or a FOLLOWER? What is your best feature?
The device will be rendered unusable until one relents to the pop-up's demands and provides answers to its questions. What will these be used for? The mystery will be solved when a social media app mysteriously installs itself on the same device, with profiles preemptively made for every Privateer. Each Privateer's profile consists of their given answers, paired with embarrassingly candid photographs. SUPERBIA has eyes in many places it seems.

Comments

[mech_and_mutt]

He paused, full-stop and frozen in mid-typing, as he tried to envision the less than private set-up described. After a second or two, he turned to face the--

...walking... talking machine. Maybe that explained why they could have arrived as such a bizarre situation.

"Five in one room? You do know what we use those for, right?"

[somuchshipping]

"Of course I do," Hermes admonished. You just separate them with stalls. Duh! Have you never been in a public bathroom before?"

While Hermes's tone is teasing, he also had some genuinely helpful information in what he said. Hermes pats this person on the back, partly to dissuade his fears and partly to fish around for a wallet to take.

[mech_and_mutt]

Red seemed a little puzzled by the... robot...?'s friendly gesture, but he didn't appear to notice the quick search of his pockets. There was a small hardshell case in one of them, too, though a bit bulky to be a wallet-- and with its size and shape, tugging it out without his notice might prove tricky....

"I have," he said, a hint of displeasure and uncomfortable-if-inevitable experiences on his tongue. "And I think I'd like somethin' with a little more privacy. And my crew would thank me for it, too."

[somuchshipping]

Hmm, Hermes can do tricky. After all, he's a computer game character. With an inventory system. So when he touches it, he'll just transfer it to an inventory slot. Boom! Who knew being a [Kleptomaniac] could be so easy?

"You can always do five separate bathrooms with five toilets, five mirrors, five sinks, and five showers, but then, you'd have less room for everything else. JustTheOneBathroom IsLessCostlyAnd MoreSpaceEfficient!" Of note is that Hermes is just pointing out a pro to using only a single bathroom. He's not being forceful about it at all, and his tone of voice means he'll relent if Red continued to argue for more bathrooms.

[mech_and_mutt]

He tugged his clothing a little once the heist was complete, noticing a shift in fit, but apparently was oblivious to his pocket's missing contents.

Bone Box

A small, stylish case used for carrying those ever-so-popular and macho items for satisfying a canine oral fixation. Most humans, on the other hand, would probably prefer cigars.

Current contents: three bones.

"Then I could do three bathrooms and still let everyone do their business in peace. That's a big priority for those of us that actually have to use 'em, y'know."

"Or should I have everyone just share the same bed, too?"

[somuchshipping]

Hermes doesn't need the strange bone box item. He has no use for it. But he still couldn't help himself from stealing it. Pesky negative traits can lead to a lot of trouble at times. Just like Hermes might get in trouble in the future for this. Oh well!

"I mean. It's an option. It could be really cute having you all snuggle together!" Hermes has already started a hypothetical polyship involving this person and his crewmates.

[mech_and_mutt]

"Oh my Dog, that's NOT an option!!" Red, meanwhile, has already started a hypothetical polyship involving this robot, an airlock, and a strong throwing arm.

"I don't even know who is gonna be on this thing with me, and even if I did--

seriously, do you have any idea what privacy is?!"

He gestured incredulously to the machine's form.

"You don't even wear clothes!!"

[somuchshipping]

"Lots of people don't wear clothes," Hermes begins. "AndOfCourse IKnowWhatPrivacyIs! If you don't want to be shipped with your crewmates, especially if I haven't met any of them, just tell me!"

Though whether or not Hermes will actually stop is another matter.

[mech_and_mutt]

"...Shipped with my crewmates...?"

That was an odd choice of words. Somehow, given the rest of the discussion so far, his use of that word didn't strike him as a reference to delivery or simple cohabitation.

"Whaddaya mean by 'shipped'?"

[somuchshipping]

Oh no. Red Savarin, you should not gave even asked. Hermes will grin appreciativelym liking the opportunity to introduce yet another person into the wide, wide world of shipping.

"You know, romance! It'sSoMuchFun ToWatchThem AllPlayOut!"

[mech_and_mutt]

Whether it's for the better or worse, the modern affectations of fandom seem to be lost on him. Let alone the fact that this machine seemed intent on some strange form of real-person pairing.

Instead, Red just sort of stared.

"So... you're tryin' to set me up with someone?"

[somuchshipping]

"Not necessarily, I just like watching and predicting ships. I will admit you x your crew sounds adorable, though, even though I've only just met you!"

Though Hermes does have standards. It's not like his ships are static and immutable. This one is liable to change as he learns more about Red.