TEST DRIVE MEME #1

[space_aces]

WHERE ANGELS FEAR TO TREAD

Your journey only happened because of your benefactor, so it begets that it starts at your benefactor as well. SUPERBIA, which is as much of a location as it is an entity, is where everyone's search for Fortuna begins.

There's not much of a welcome party: shortly after their fateful encounter with SUPERBIA, in which they swore to join the quest to find Fortuna, the new Privateers will find themselves afflicted by a sudden change in perspective. See, teleportation is a tricky process, so from SUPERBIA's point of view, why not make the target destination none other than itself? One highly disconcerting moment later, and the Privateers find themselves inside the belly of the beast.

The vast mega-structure is shockingly lonely, void of anyone other than the Privateers. Those who look off the metal satellite and to The Network for intelligence (or take a skim at the Space Wikipedia article) will find out that the surrounding space is clear for lightyears; rumors have it that the place is cursed. It won't take long to understand why.

1

Overclocked

The innards of SUPERBIA are that of an impossibly scaled up computer, and the Privateers start right in the middle of it. You are the spider living in the dusty PS4. Literal rivers of coolant, transistors the size of mountains, landscapes made entirely of circuitry. The sky, bounded by a distant metal ceiling, is constantly alight with coursing electricity that cracks the sky with lightning storms. It can be assumed that the Privateers are the first living things to set foot here, because such a place is not ever meant to be traversed by delicate, organic, mortals that worry about things such as "temperature" or "voltage". SUPERBIA needs not lifeforms to continue its operations; why design for them? Traversal itself is difficult: unscalable walls and perilous drops are common to encounter. The only company the Privateers will find are oddly adorable maintenance robots, which sadly seem too occupied by their directives of maintaining the massive machine to offer any assistance (or even acknowledgement of their new guests).

It is immediately clear that the most urgent priority is to get the hell out of here. Before your adventure ends at the starting line.

2

Skeletons In The Closet

If one stays inside SUPERBIA, either by getting horribly lost or losing all common sense, one will notice a peculiar pattern emerge as one gets deeper into the bowels of the mega-structure. Passages shrink and become more level, and the incredible hostility and danger of the surroundings fade away, until one comes across areas which were definitely intended for humanoid organisms to use at one point.

The construction of these areas is cramped, unfurnished, and dreary; they are reminiscent of artificial environments meant to handle harsh external conditions like a submarine or bunker, but they are entirely livable. One can eventually find distinct rooms, but everything in them has crumbled to dust and their original purpose is nigh impossible to discern. Deeper investigation may reveal the few items that have stood the test of time. While it is more plausible for life to have existed here, that doesn't seem to be the case now. What happened here?

3

The Shipyard

In the opposite direction, when one finally reaches the outer edges of SUPERBIA, they will be rewarded with the place to pick up a spaceship and a stunningly beautiful view of outer space. The outside of SUPERBIA has no atmosphere to get between you and the stars, and they shine brightly, like a beacon calling one out into the first steps of adventure.

The shipyard is already filled with countless space ships of every size, form, and function, all autonomously constructed by SUPERBIA's factories over the countless years. What's the harm in taking one or twenty out for a spin? Even if one has no intentions of permanent ownership of the vehicle, it's not like SUPERBIA will miss it. For a Privateer with a more specific vision, however, there are kiosks around the yard which will allow one to design their very own space ship down to their exact specifications. When the process is done SUPERBIA's matter printers will have it out and space-ready right before your very eyes.

If a Privateer has a ship, vehicle, or large item that they intended to bring with them, they will also find them here, neatly parked in the Shipyard. Why didn't SUPERBIA extend this courtesy to the pilot's themselves? The answer is revealed as soon as the owner makes a closer inspection: the inner contents have been rearranged, like a whirlwind was unleashed inside and assorted loose items thrown around. Now aren't you glad your transportation was given special attention, and the same didn't happen to your innards?

4

Hot Crewmates in Your Area

But how will a single Privateer man an entire space ship? No worries: when one steps into a ship, the strangely endearing maintenance robots will suddenly take acute interest. The robots will follow inside and immediately start assuming the duties of a spacefarer, eliminating the need for extra hands on deck.

Even still, there's just no eliminating the want for a human touch, though. Thankfully even that dilemma has a contingency plotted by SUPERBIA.

Communication devices are easily available on every space ship. They come in all shapes and sizes, ranging from huge stationary consoles to portable smartphone-like screens. But whenever a Privateer attempts to access the Network, a pop-up will appear, obscuring the whole screen.

Tell me a little about yourself. Are you a LEADER or a FOLLOWER? What is your best feature?
The device will be rendered unusable until one relents to the pop-up's demands and provides answers to its questions. What will these be used for? The mystery will be solved when a social media app mysteriously installs itself on the same device, with profiles preemptively made for every Privateer. Each Privateer's profile consists of their given answers, paired with embarrassingly candid photographs. SUPERBIA has eyes in many places it seems.

Comments

[transcutation]

"Oooh, Carol! Nice to meet you! Buuuut sadly, you must have the wrong Cagliostro?" Her smile turns wicked then, and cutesy voice drops down to something more vicious. "Because not a single person ever supplied data to me, the founder of Alchemy, who had to make all this shit from scratch."

1/2

[miraclekiller]

There are two of them.

2/2

[miraclekiller]

Carol needs time to process this.

"Alchemy as we know it was made from the data left behind by Fine and whatever Adam Weishaupt managed to steal from the Custodians, and those guys are probably extinct." She's talking it through to herself here, sometimes she just needs to hear her own voice to be sure.

Then she finally looks back up at the screen.

"You don't look like a god, so I must assume the multiverse is playing a cruel joke on me. That oestrogen poisoned dumbass, the inventor of alchemy?"

[transcutation]

"As you've rightly surmised, this seems to have to due with the multiverse business they've been mentioning right? Though honestly, even if it's a coincidence, I'm insulted you'd think so lowly of someone who shares my name and pursuit of beauty!" She flounces a bit and preens before returning to the conversation. "I don't know who these Custodians you're talking about are, but I think we can all put this mistaken identity thing aside if assume you also aren't familiar with the Sky Realm, the Astrals or The War?"

[miraclekiller]

"There have been many wars, and I suppose the Custodians did come from the stars, but the Sky Realm is completely new to me." Carol is deep in thought, and ultimately comes to the only real conclusion, that the histories of their worlds are completely different.

"So what it means is that I must never allow the two of you to meet." The Cagliostro Singularity could destroy the world.

[transcutation]

"I see, I see, afraid of what our two genius level intellects could get up to together, hm? A reasonable fear for the small minded," she says with a nod, already making assumptions that if they were similar enough to be mistaken, then the other Cagliostro must be quite the item as well. "And? It seems you're no stranger to alchemy either."

[miraclekiller]

"No, definitely not that." There is no hesitation there. Sometimes you can be a real genius and a complete bimbo at the same time, and sometimes you meet two of them.

"I may know a thing or two. Carol Malus Dienheim's alchemy, at this point in time, exists to slay the gods."

[transcutation]

She makes a face, but it seems defending the other Cagliostro's honor is impossible with this kid. Besides, what she says next is more amusing.

"Oh? Now, aren't we ambitious? That's quite the goal for someone so young - or should I take it you're also wise beyond your years?" Or just, y'know, beyond your years in general.

[miraclekiller]

Don't take it personally, Symphogear Cagliostro: Carol doesn't really have many nice things to say about anyone.

"If you are going to chase after the so-called greatest treasure in the multiverse, you need at least that much resolve." She lets a slight grin come into her features, leaning almost conspiratorially into the camera. "If you're an alchemist, then you should know that the body is a plaything of the mind. I choose to look like this."

[transcutation]

A similar grin crosses Cagliostro's face.

"You know? I think we might just get along," she says mischievously. "Though it's good to confirm we're all here for the same reason. I wasn't sure if random bystanders had been dragged in as well, considering how haphazard our arrival was."

[miraclekiller]

"I haven't met anyone who didn't agree to be here." Carol confirms. It seems SUPERBIA has basic competence, just poor aim. Then again, a journey to the end of the universe, it would be quite embarrassing if it got some weakling who gets killed by an exposed circuitboard.

"It seems we might, but the creator of alchemy, a cute girl. I wonder what the people of your world must think?"

[transcutation]

"Of course, they think I'm adorable and fantastic?" She practically gushes the sentiment, and literally makes sparks fly to add to the effect on camera. And then that ruthless smile returns. "And anyone who disagrees learns to keep their mouth shut pretty quickly. I didn't invent the entire art just fulfill some idiot's stodgy biased illusions of the learned old professor."

[miraclekiller]

Alchemy is the pursuit of perfection, in a very literal sense it is the synthesis of gold from lead, but gold and lead don't have to be the chemical elements, simply the transformation of something base into its ideal form.

But what is an ideal human body? For Carol it is preserving herself as eternally her Papa's daughter. For Saint Germain and her group it was the form most capable of fulfilling their goals with an excess of energy and maximum ability to equip Faust Robes.

In that sense, is a body still ideal if it makes your life more difficult, if you have to go around proving yourself twice as much? But perhaps if Saint Germain was here she would say that doing so was to take the chance to fight oppression, and be all for it.

Basically:

"Are they still calling you adorable and fantastic while running for their lives? That's impressive."

[transcutation]

For Cagliostro, the pursuit of cuteness mattered far more than the opinions of a bunch of backwards, inflexible eggheads. And she had plenty of people whose opinions she did appreciate who thought she was cute. But more than that, any body she could make was better than that horrible wreck she'd been born with.

"Hmm, it's hard to say when they're running away screaming, but it's usually something along those lines by the time I catch them?" She giggles evilly.

[miraclekiller]

"Forcing people to acknowledge you through overwhelming strength. It's a lot of work, but I suppose nothing worth doing has ever been easy." And Carol, on her part, seems to have absolutely no problem with that.

Breaking the knees of people who think they are powerful is actually quite fun.

[transcutation]

"You can't really call it perfection if you still have to compromise with people you don't even like, right?" Well, now she's just being dramatically arrogant for the sake of it. This girl is letting her ham it up and that's a sandwich she won't turn down. "And what about you? Founder of Alchemy or not, you seem like someone who deserves more respect that a dress up doll to be protected, so I imagine you've had your struggles."

[miraclekiller]

"Would you believe me if I said the biggest problem I've had with this body was that some people find it difficult to punch a little girl?" By the time Carol had moved to her first homonculus body, her skill at alchemy was already undeniable. She had made herself a new body and gained a form of immortality, after all! Nobody within the ranks of the Illuminati could doubt her skill, and it wasn't until she had to interact with people outside of it that the troubles began.

"But well, being fit for purpose is a form of perfection as well. If a temporary change of form could get the reaction I wanted then it's worth it." Hence her adult form, meant to get the Symphogear to give her the fight she needed. Also if she wanted to buy wine or something.

[transcutation]

"I'd consider that an advantage," Cagliostro noted. "But it's certainly surprising to hear you didn't have more social issues. Academics often contain whole hordes of stodgy codgers in my experience."

She nods, remembering the very canonical One Piece collab where she talked with Nico Robin about morphing her body. "Changing forms has its tactical advantages, though no matter how temporary it is, it can permanently alter others' image of you."

[miraclekiller]

"It is one thing to just win, but if you wish to challenge the gods then you will need to wring everything you can get from all your other opponents." Carol thinks back to her battle with the Symphogears. If she wanted to compose the song to destroy the world, she needed to record their songs at their most violent. In hindsight not her most noble moments, but she'd consider it brilliant.

Then there are the EXTREMELY VIOLENT FLASHBACKS TO ADAM WEISHAUPT, and much less violent flashbacks to the unmitigated disaster that was her father and all of his attempts at cooking.

"Those sorts certainly exist, but there was always a certain level of... flamboyance at the top of the field. Some would say that the greatest scientists require a certain level eccentricity."

[transcutation]

"Ah, how I wish that were true in Alchemy in my world," sighed Cagliostro. Instead there was her, her idiot apprentice who was uniquely bad at alchemy, some sob stories and then the sky's grungiest unshaven asshole who just needed a swift kick the crotch. "But I suppose if I lean out into other fields, there certainly are shares of interesting characters."

Just look at the rest of the Captain's crew. The place was littered with genius eccentrics.

[miraclekiller]

"I wouldn't recommend it, being too weird brings its own share of problems." Once again, visions of Adam Weishaupt came to mind. If only he was just a stodgy old man with outdated beliefs about women and children.

Of course, not that Carol has much room to complain, she's quite the eccentric herself, but nobody thinks they're the extremely weird ones.

[transcutation]

"I'll taking interesting problems over boring solutions any day," she says with a laconic grin, leaning her chin on a hand. "Part of why I thought this whole deal might be fun, you know?"